I am inside my room, doing nothing for a couple of days. I feel sick... I am bored. I don't have anything to do but to think of things I almost forgot during the toxicity of med school. I had so much time for realization. Time to settle things I left behind. I need to be thankful for passing 3rd year med... I am an official clerk now... The start of my "real" medical career is here in front of me. I am not ready... But I should be happy coz I've waited for this thing. After this one last year... I can pursue all my future plans. But things are slowly changing...
I just woke up one day and everything changed. I lost someone... I've focused on something for myself and almost forgot someone who inspired me to do and continue my profession. I am so lost right now... I know what I want... but I don't know if it is still for me. I need to fight... I am so weak right now but I am still fighting until I can. I hate to say goodbye... I don't really want to. I wish I can still have the best in you. I don't really need time... I had wasted so much... I need to make up on everything.
Now, I realized that life should be everything. You need to deal on all aspects and not only choose one. It is a matter of giving time for every little thing you have. I need more strength to fight for the things that are worth to fight. I am alone and far from my family... I need them now. I have so many good friends who always save me... thank you!
I learned and I don't have any regrets at all... I know when to stop... I am still fighting... But I know I will be tired and eventually try a different path where I can bring back the smile, love and happiness in me... maybe tomorrow... maybe soon.... I don't know when... but I know I will....
*he is worth to LOVE... me loves you*
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