Another goodbye...

I hate to say goodbye... Yesterday, after my operation assist, I heard that one of my resident is leaving. It's Dr. Bong Flores whom I worked for only 15 days in Surgery. He is one of the good doctor with a big heart. He is quiet but you'll learn a lot from him. I saw how he cares and treats his patients sincerely in just a few days. How I wish every doctor is like him. The next junior interns already missed the chance of working with him. I am really sad to say goodbye to Sir Bong. You deserve more than our surprise pizza party tonight. I am wishing you all the best and good health. And I am looking forward to see and work with you soon again. The whole Surgery Department LOVES you. My sincerest thanks and respect to you Dr. FLORES... My dearest friends are leaving soon... MEL: I will miss you my dear tiyanaks... who else can make me laugh like you??? big HUG to you and goodluck on whatever steps you're going to take when you get back to Florida. Z: my dearest girlfriend... *tears* We've shared so much during my third year days... crying times, heartaches, gimiks, chillin', shopping, movie, coffee... Cheers to all the good days with you. You made me realize a lot of things. You are such a wonderful friend that's why you deserve all the best. I will miss you Z and I hope you'll get what you deserve. I am just around... you know where to find me just in case. Thank you so much... much love from me... Who's next??? I've been losing them one by one... I missed my family... I missed the kids... but I don't know if I missed the people who always breaks my heart. I am selfish right now and just thinking of the people who are worth to have all my love and care. Bitterness is the key on moving on... Last goodbye for today... goodbye to the old feelings and whatever relationship I had. I am glad I made it for a few days... I hope things will be better and better... I need to feel my worth and just focus on the brighter sides. Thank you to all who's been good to me. It is really overwhelming that my patients appreciate the little things I can do for them. I can't imagine that I can saved lives everyday... Blessings are just coming on my way. I am starting to see and get what I deserve. Thanks for making my day and bringing all the smiles that I never had for the longest time. *I will be happy...*

*moment of silence * after 28 days...

28 days of hospital work. 28 days of challenges and realization. At this moment, several things are playing on my mind. Part of it is all about me, the other side of my life not being a doctor. But before that, I need to love what I am doing. I am destined to be here so despite of all the sleepless nights and hardworks... I need to be tough. It's time to forget about my personal interests... my dream of becoming a housewife will never be true for now... forget it and focus on my patients. They need me more than anyone else... I am living my life on the same daily routine... boring but like what I said, I choose to have a toxic med life so deal with this. I missed my family, i missed my friends. I am lost now but still finding my self and accepting that my life is here and I can't be there... I can't be where I want to be right now. I am confused... I am hurting... too bad coz the people so dear to me made me feel worst. Now, I don't know what I have and who I have. I lose most of them and now I am dealing with new things and new people. I should have listen to a good friend. Don't be too good coz some people will take advantage of you. It hurts knowing someone do not know how to appreciate the things you are doing for them. They will only remember you in time they need you. What's worst is that they are treating you as if you don't have any feelings. So much blaming, judging and lies that made the situation worst. I would like to hold on to my words now. No more crying times... I need to be tough this time... no more coming back on the old feelings. I wish i did not ignore the people who loves me. I am losing all my faith... I need more time to think... I wish I am too insensitive that I won't be affected anymore. I want someone who will just appreciate and love me.... I deserve it... I am wrong for loving so much... wrong time, wrong person. I never had a true and perfect love ever since. All I had ended so bad... I am tired right now but these things must be said... I am sick and I need to rest. I wish things will be better when I wake up tomorrow morning... Just give me only few days and I will be more than okay. I must forget you and also you... I've waste another time.... so I need to rush... I'm out!

Emergency Surgery... first rotation...

Hello! After a month of not doing a blog... here I am again... Busy days since April 1st. I am lucky to have a good schedule and same with good groupmates. Surgery is my first rotation as a junior intern in De La Salle University Medical Center. At first, everything was new to me. I don't have any idea of what to do first. I am living with new people, new experiences, new situations... I am such a stranger when I first entered at the emergency room. I am scared of the consultants and residents at first. My status on my first day was post duty... It was really tiring that I wasn't able to fix myself and had my meals and then I really passed out when I went home. But today is my 13th day in ER surgery... It feels like I've been here for so long. I am familiar with things. I learned a lot.... it is such a good experience working with my colleagues. The hospital is my new home...

• monitoring in Medical Intensive Care Unit and Recovery Room
• hands on
• doing circumcision
• chest tube thoracotomy
• excision of mass
• wound debridement
• suturing
• diagnosing patients
• encountering different cases
• vehicular accidents
• head trauma/fall
• gunshot wounds
• hacking
• abdominal pains: appendicitis, cholecystitis, choledocolithias, ureterolithiasis
• hernia
• mauling
• 
• a lot more that I can't remember... I've seen a lot of dead on arrival patients. C
• code blue... we lost so much lives... and the worst is seeing unfortunate people.... accidents... financially not stable and can't even afford to get the best treatment they need
• being strong and calm are important especially being in the trauma team at ER
• i am proud to be one now... no more panicking... i am use to work and see bloody people, unconscious.... crying scenario... this is my job... i need to deal with it...

I am proud to be a soon La Sallian Doctor. Thanks to the following...

• Dr. Noriega: our dearest surgery clerk consultant... thanks for giving us the power to do our job and encouraging each and everyone to become a real doctor... i am looking forward to more duty days with you in wards... i will post our mini pictorial soon...
• Dr. Sabz Magno: my first mentor.... i super thank you for all the lectures and hands on in surgery. You made my first clerk's day a memorable one. Thanks for being a "nanay"... I will surely miss the times that we are laughing and working together despite all the lack of sleep everyday. You inspired me of being a strong woman... haha! Let's order mcdo... canteen tayo... no morph time doc sabs... haha!
• Dr. Regala: hmmmmmmmmm... my everdearest crush... haha! thanks thanks.... no more toxic days... you really hate people who cry... haha!
• To my interns and other residents: Dr. Bicol, Dr. Regullano, Dr. Canones, Dr. Norlan, Maam Z, Maam Fritzi etc: thanks thanks...
• And to the whole surgery staff and ER stuff... more working days with all of you...
• Lastly, I will not survive my med toxic life without my dearest groupmates... Robert, Joie and Jan... and the whole surgery group: Mara, Coy, Abe, Mabs, Ciara, Luisa, Julius, Aaron, Ken, Jan, Terms, Min thoo, Charles, Yags, Sheena and Fatz...
• Thanks to my dearest friends... my sleeping buddies... food trip buddies and smago...

TRAUMA Team of De La Salle Medical Center *Emergency Surgery*